Long and deeply troubled

I don't know where the hell the person I was talking to came from, but they kept up with me for about 45 minutes of complete randomness. Forgive my obvious self-promotion at the end, I figured it was appropriate at the time.

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hiya

You: No.

You: That's not how this is going to go.

You: I'm really done with that sort of discussion.

Stranger: i see

Stranger: then i shall follow orders

You: no, clearly you don't.

You: You see, every time I talk to someone here, they all say the same things.

You: "hi. Hey. Hiya."

You: It's getting old.

Stranger: hmm

You: Leave, come back and start the conversation again.

Stranger: wont work

You: I'm not asking...

Stranger: i wont be talking to you

You: I'm telling.

Stranger: so it wouldnt be interesting

You: who made you the judge of interesting?

You: Who died and made you Mayor McCheesy?

Stranger: the hamburgler kidnapped him

You: Where's my coffee?

Stranger: in the pot

You: What the fuck?!?

You: Listen, Carl, I've had it up TO HERE with this constant barrage of SHIT!

Stranger: well plug the hole where its coming from

You: If your report is not on my desk by NOON, I'm going to reign down on you with an unholy fire so hot, there'll be nothing left of you but fucking brown circles.

You: Do you get my drift?

Stranger: i like it hot

You: I LIKE IT FUCKING RAINING!!!

You: What do you think about that?

Stranger: wait

You: I'm waiting

Stranger: how does It, fuck raining

You: hmmm

Stranger: raining is a high class broad

You: good question, Susan...

Stranger: she wouldnt fuck that loser

You: How does it fuck raining?

You: Well, I suppose one would have to consult the works of Jung to really tackle that question.

You: I guess the easiest answer would be found in Jung's essay "A polyp full of emotional twat seepage".

Stranger: that seepage is pretty damn tasty

Stranger: drizzle it on a slice of pie

You: wherein he speaks, "I'm a flabby bitch and I ran away from home to fuck the circus clowns."

You: Wouldn't you agree?

Stranger: why was the bitch out of the kitchen

Stranger: why wasnt her mouth on a penis

You: Where was the kitchen.

Stranger: too far away from the circus

You: No no, where WAS the kitchen.

Stranger: on the 2nd floor

You: Good place for it.

Stranger: in dallas texas

You: Ah, I believe Freud spoke of second floor kitchens.

Stranger: who taught the bitch about the circus

Stranger: that was a mistake

You: But was later disproved by a very special episode of Charles in Charge.

Stranger: well if Charles doesnt agree then he definitely isnt in charge

You: I'm in disagreement with your pectoral muscles.

You: Light a candle, say a prayer.

Stranger: the pecks are the most truthful message in the body

Stranger: but i applaude your distrust

You: The meaning of life is to live long and trotter

Stranger: the word of the day is Whowantstafuckme

You: You should come to China Town with me.

Stranger: i Organized the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wesson

Stranger: so i'd be happy to

You: good show!

You: i'm Bavarian

Stranger: I love sweet potato pie, seems we have so much in common

Stranger: but, i hated my father

Stranger: since he was my sister

You: care to ride a tandem with me?

Stranger: I'm already riding the Electric Boogaloo, but i'll switch at the next stop

You: Take the train. The country's nice this time of year.

Stranger: does it provide stuardesses to have fun with

You: Not likely.

Stranger: and by fun i mean to use and abuse

Stranger: well, i'll just bring my own

You: This conversation is clearly and ideal sort of conjecture and befoul in the receptions version of mucus.

Stranger: i figured it was somewhere along the line of an egotistical display of selflessness to the masses

You: COCK AND TITTIES

You: WOMEN HAVE TWO PEEHOLES

Stranger: THAT MEANS TWO HOLES THAT NEED TO BE FUCKED

You: ok, sir, now you're just being crass.

Stranger: i'm seeing things from a realist point of view

You: No, you're seeing them from the shade vector.

You: The realists moon is full, and time is nigh to wax.

Stranger: i see

Stranger: i shouldnt have to worry though

Stranger: i brought an umbrella

You: I see.

You: Sound plan on your part.

Stranger: damn straight

You: How about a Sanka.?

You: Or a trip to Sri Lanka?

Stranger: Sounds fun, Looks nice, Smells wonderful, all of my senses say that i should go

You: The power of the apple lies in the visitors tongue.

Stranger: the blacker the berry the more obvious that its a phone

You: that's so juvenile.

You: You're not even trying now.

Stranger: I framed roger rabbit

Stranger: i think i try pretty hard

You: Call me later when your internet comes back up.

You: I'll be in the shade of the setting second sun.

Stranger: DONT GO

You: But if not now, when?

Stranger: THE SECOND SUN IS THE MOST LIKELY TO BE COMFORTABLE

You: Don't you see, this is the very crux of the event?

Stranger: if not when, WHERE

Stranger: think about that

You: I've pondered your question and come to the conclusion, this is intended to clean off with a bit of oxyclean.

Stranger: DO they serve beer in hell, cuz im going to Nevada soon

You: No.

Stranger: damn, i was hoping for a stripper or two

You: Hell is a visual idea created by the cost/loss ratio of an interdepartmental rift in the time grandiloquence variable

You: How then, can it be said that man's own superego is beyond cell structures?

You: We are the essence of something, rather than nothing.

Stranger: If the prisoners get out of those cells, the warden would have a problem on his hands

You: Tomorrow never comes, if not led by an multidimensional euphonium

Stranger: I saw that movie

Stranger: It taught me how to love a woman

You: The smell of a woman is rather like sour grapes.

Stranger: dogs cant swallow grapes

Stranger: so how can they smell

You: I don't know.

You: Perhaps with a breach barrel cannon.

Stranger: THEY CANT FAP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!!

Stranger: ITS IMPOSSIBLE

You: Don't be a /b/fag.

You: It doesn't become you.

You: you're of a stronger substance and taste.

Stranger: In actuality i'm quite insane, i can become evverything

Stranger: but i shall accoomplish nothing

You: no. no you're not.

You: You're a shell of a man.

Stranger: wheres the filling

You: a putrid pusillanimous pipsqueak missing the mental mark.

Stranger: so who delivered the pizza then......you'd better not have tipped that bastard

You: I did tip timmy

You: he got here quick.

You: So, jerry, how long have you been suffering from underwhelm?

Stranger: no idea, ask claudia

You: Claudia is a cunt.

Stranger: she had the money

Stranger: and she knows her place

You: No, she had CRABS!

You: That fucking bitch had crabs, Tom.

You: CRABS.

Stranger: dammit rupert, i DIDNT FUCK HER

Stranger: SHE MADE ME DINNER

You: I never said you did, Jim.

You: I simply implied that the walkman was broke.

Stranger: Tony you implied that she had crabs, i wouldnt care what was in her armpits in the first place

You: I see.

You: Well, Seth, I've clearly overstepped my bounds.

Stranger: I understand your reason jason, but i dont need your help

You: Then in the future, I won't offer it.

Stranger: i do however, need your gun

Stranger: the matchlock rifle

You: My gun is registered to Falco P. Waltherbottom of the LAPD.

You: Don't you understand the status of my green card?

Stranger: I chloroformed that bastard last week, he didnt know how to shut his mouth]

Stranger: or open itr

Stranger: so i had to help him inhale

You: Escape into safe bay, dock one.

Stranger: maybe i should have just pulled the plug, since he was already in the hospital

Stranger: by the way i put him there

You: Are we done?

Stranger: yes

You: Pass the margarine.

Stranger: lol, you're good at rolling with the punches quickly ( on a serious note)

You: I'm a trained professional.

Stranger: i see

Stranger: i trained prostitutes

You: I have credentials.

Stranger: i have bullets

Stranger: but no gun

You: http://omeglefail.blogspot.com

Stranger: i bring people to me and put the shells through them

You: You're a god damned supervisor!

You: Visit my blog. Perhaps you'll see yourself seeing yourself.

Stranger: lol

Stranger: but seriously, i must go

You: I work without a net.

Stranger: hasta la byebye

You: thank you for the long ass convo

Stranger: lol

You: until we randomly meet again...

Stranger: eventually

You have disconnected.