I don't know where the hell the person I was talking to came from, but they kept up with me for about 45 minutes of complete randomness. Forgive my obvious self-promotion at the end, I figured it was appropriate at the time. Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: That's not how this is going to go.
You: I'm really done with that sort of discussion.
Stranger: then i shall follow orders
You: no, clearly you don't.
You: You see, every time I talk to someone here, they all say the same things.
You: Leave, come back and start the conversation again.
Stranger: i wont be talking to you
Stranger: so it wouldnt be interesting
You: who made you the judge of interesting?
You: Who died and made you Mayor McCheesy?
Stranger: the hamburgler kidnapped him
You: Listen, Carl, I've had it up TO HERE with this constant barrage of SHIT!
Stranger: well plug the hole where its coming from
You: If your report is not on my desk by NOON, I'm going to reign down on you with an unholy fire so hot, there'll be nothing left of you but fucking brown circles.
You: Do you get my drift?
You: I LIKE IT FUCKING RAINING!!!
You: What do you think about that?
Stranger: how does It, fuck raining
Stranger: raining is a high class broad
You: good question, Susan...
Stranger: she wouldnt fuck that loser
You: How does it fuck raining?
You: Well, I suppose one would have to consult the works of Jung to really tackle that question.
You: I guess the easiest answer would be found in Jung's essay "A polyp full of emotional twat seepage".
Stranger: that seepage is pretty damn tasty
Stranger: drizzle it on a slice of pie
You: wherein he speaks, "I'm a flabby bitch and I ran away from home to fuck the circus clowns."
Stranger: why was the bitch out of the kitchen
Stranger: why wasnt her mouth on a penis
You: Where was the kitchen.
Stranger: too far away from the circus
You: No no, where WAS the kitchen.
Stranger: on the 2nd floor
Stranger: in dallas texas
You: Ah, I believe Freud spoke of second floor kitchens.
Stranger: who taught the bitch about the circus
Stranger: that was a mistake
You: But was later disproved by a very special episode of Charles in Charge.
Stranger: well if Charles doesnt agree then he definitely isnt in charge
You: I'm in disagreement with your pectoral muscles.
You: Light a candle, say a prayer.
Stranger: the pecks are the most truthful message in the body
Stranger: but i applaude your distrust
You: The meaning of life is to live long and trotter
Stranger: the word of the day is Whowantstafuckme
You: You should come to China Town with me.
Stranger: i Organized the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wesson
Stranger: so i'd be happy to
Stranger: I love sweet potato pie, seems we have so much in common
Stranger: but, i hated my father
Stranger: since he was my sister
You: care to ride a tandem with me?
Stranger: I'm already riding the Electric Boogaloo, but i'll switch at the next stop
You: Take the train. The country's nice this time of year.
Stranger: does it provide stuardesses to have fun with
Stranger: and by fun i mean to use and abuse
Stranger: well, i'll just bring my own
You: This conversation is clearly and ideal sort of conjecture and befoul in the receptions version of mucus.
Stranger: i figured it was somewhere along the line of an egotistical display of selflessness to the masses
You: WOMEN HAVE TWO PEEHOLES
Stranger: THAT MEANS TWO HOLES THAT NEED TO BE FUCKED
You: ok, sir, now you're just being crass.
Stranger: i'm seeing things from a realist point of view
You: No, you're seeing them from the shade vector.
You: The realists moon is full, and time is nigh to wax.
Stranger: i shouldnt have to worry though
Stranger: i brought an umbrella
You: Sound plan on your part.
You: Or a trip to Sri Lanka?
Stranger: Sounds fun, Looks nice, Smells wonderful, all of my senses say that i should go
You: The power of the apple lies in the visitors tongue.
Stranger: the blacker the berry the more obvious that its a phone
You: You're not even trying now.
Stranger: I framed roger rabbit
Stranger: i think i try pretty hard
You: Call me later when your internet comes back up.
You: I'll be in the shade of the setting second sun.
You: But if not now, when?
Stranger: THE SECOND SUN IS THE MOST LIKELY TO BE COMFORTABLE
You: Don't you see, this is the very crux of the event?
Stranger: if not when, WHERE
Stranger: think about that
You: I've pondered your question and come to the conclusion, this is intended to clean off with a bit of oxyclean.
Stranger: DO they serve beer in hell, cuz im going to Nevada soon
Stranger: damn, i was hoping for a stripper or two
You: Hell is a visual idea created by the cost/loss ratio of an interdepartmental rift in the time grandiloquence variable
You: How then, can it be said that man's own superego is beyond cell structures?
You: We are the essence of something, rather than nothing.
Stranger: If the prisoners get out of those cells, the warden would have a problem on his hands
You: Tomorrow never comes, if not led by an multidimensional euphonium
Stranger: I saw that movie
Stranger: It taught me how to love a woman
You: The smell of a woman is rather like sour grapes.
Stranger: dogs cant swallow grapes
Stranger: so how can they smell
You: Perhaps with a breach barrel cannon.
Stranger: THEY CANT FAP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!!
You: It doesn't become you.
You: you're of a stronger substance and taste.
Stranger: In actuality i'm quite insane, i can become evverything
Stranger: but i shall accoomplish nothing
You: You're a shell of a man.
Stranger: wheres the filling
You: a putrid pusillanimous pipsqueak missing the mental mark.
Stranger: so who delivered the pizza then......you'd better not have tipped that bastard
You: So, jerry, how long have you been suffering from underwhelm?
Stranger: no idea, ask claudia
Stranger: she had the money
Stranger: and she knows her place
You: That fucking bitch had crabs, Tom.
Stranger: dammit rupert, i DIDNT FUCK HER
Stranger: SHE MADE ME DINNER
You: I never said you did, Jim.
You: I simply implied that the walkman was broke.
Stranger: Tony you implied that she had crabs, i wouldnt care what was in her armpits in the first place
You: Well, Seth, I've clearly overstepped my bounds.
Stranger: I understand your reason jason, but i dont need your help
You: Then in the future, I won't offer it.
Stranger: i do however, need your gun
Stranger: the matchlock rifle
You: My gun is registered to Falco P. Waltherbottom of the LAPD.
You: Don't you understand the status of my green card?
Stranger: I chloroformed that bastard last week, he didnt know how to shut his mouth]
Stranger: so i had to help him inhale
You: Escape into safe bay, dock one.
Stranger: maybe i should have just pulled the plug, since he was already in the hospital
Stranger: by the way i put him there
Stranger: lol, you're good at rolling with the punches quickly ( on a serious note)
You: I'm a trained professional.
Stranger: i trained prostitutes
You: http://omeglefail.blogspot.com
Stranger: i bring people to me and put the shells through them
You: You're a god damned supervisor!
You: Visit my blog. Perhaps you'll see yourself seeing yourself.
Stranger: but seriously, i must go
You: I work without a net.
Stranger: hasta la byebye
You: thank you for the long ass convo
You: until we randomly meet again...
