Saturday, October 31, 2009

Joe?

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im about to offer up my 10" dick to a pretty 18 year old girl who can handle it
You: a gleaming model XQJ-37 nuclear powered Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker?
You: Perhaps some conversational German?
You: Streck aus deinen heiften gelockten schwanz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The night time is the right time

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: tell no one what you've seen here.
You: I can't talk more about it.
You: They're watching.
You have disconnected.

I guess not...

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi im 17 years old italian boy..i want to meet a girl...:) for webcam sex..
You: yeah.
You: that's interesting, man.
Stranger: have you msn?
You: have you CBS?
Stranger: no
You: FAIL!
You: want to watch me punch babies, live on webcam?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Guess the smell

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: my keyboard is wonderful.
You: it has a very smooth action.
Stranger: why?
You: the keys are well-placed
You: and it lights up
Stranger: is it different with the normal?
Stranger: wow!
Stranger: cool!
You: can we be friends?
Stranger: yeah!
You: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
You: brant can't watch though
Stranger: r u a girl?
Stranger: haha!
You: or he's gotta pay a hundred.
Stranger: wait,, ur asl first please?
You: I'm 52
You: and a shemale.
You: from acron ohio
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Welcome to the internets

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey bro
You: I can give you a bigger dick
Stranger: damn you hey
Stranger: hahahhaa
You: all you have to do is take my pills.
You: they're free for a week, bro.
You: And then, you'll have a bigger dick.
Stranger: hahahah i dont want to have a big dick
You: oh.
You: Well, that kind of fucks up my whole deal.
You: Want to see a chick make out with a goat?
You: Want to see short videos of people getting hurt?
You: Want to make a million dollars from my African uncle?
Stranger: hahahahha no thanks
You: how about barely legal teens getting hot and horny?
You: Want to know your credit score, and what it means to you?
Stranger: hey are you campaign?
You: just send this to ten other people
You: send it to ten ten ten other pepepepeople
You: I am the internets!
You: please click the link
You: Click here for pictures of cock-fingering.
Stranger: where is the link?
You: I am the internets.
You: Sorry, link is not currently functional.
Stranger: hmmmm
You: You may have a pop-up blocker active in your browser.
Stranger: oowh i dont have yet
You: LOL
You: ROFL
You: ROFLMAO
You: And other associated terms
Stranger: i didnt have
You: and now you do.
You: Or whatever.
You: You're fucking negitive fun.
You have disconnected.

Drama Queen.

You: now thats a fish
You: i eat goldfishies
You: live
Stranger: are you kidding me?
You: nope totally serious
Stranger: oh my god! you are so strong.admire you
You: thank you here on Venus goldfish eating is a sport
You: u have to eat them alive though they taste better that way
Stranger: really?
You: yes really
Stranger: I want to join?
You: sure!
Stranger: i want to visit
You: *puts a bowl of many goldfish in front of u*
You: yay!
Stranger: do you think it is delicious
You: yes they r
You: *eats a live goldfish*
Stranger: do you study biology??
You: actually yeah im in a biology class this year
Stranger: it looks like an experiment
You: i like experiments
You: do u like experiments?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: it is more interesting than nomal classroom learning
You: r u a boy martian or a girl martian
You: ?
Stranger: g
Stranger: how about you? UFO
You: girl venusian
Stranger: oh,
Stranger: it is my first time to use this website to talk with others
You: lol awesome hey i g2g im being summoned
You have disconnected.

people from other countries crack me up.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 21m
You: 368b
Stranger: ??
You: ")
You: :-P
You: I figure if we're just posting random shit
Stranger: u f??
You: PBS!
Stranger: ??
You: ICE CUBE!!
Stranger: horny??
You: Jamboree
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If two trains leave the station...

onnecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: It's fucking halloween
Stranger: will u answer a quiz
You: yeah.
You: DO IT!
Stranger: if i overtake second one in race then which position am i?
You: Second?
Stranger: yup correct
You: No shit?
You: lol
You: What am I, a fucking idiot?
Stranger: nope a intelligent human
You: Well thank you.
You: I think you've made my night.
Stranger: night??
You: I don't think I need to do this anymore.
Stranger: then from??
You: I'm from fucking AMERICA homie,
You: WHAT?
Stranger: cool
Stranger: germany
You: oh.
You: Nazi.
You have disconnected.

poo dollar.

What up, gaylords? I have been gone for a while, and haven't had much time to post on any of my blogs. Computer died at the beginning of the month, and I finally got it fixed. Not that that's WHY I haven't posted, that's just what I'm using as an excuse. I have two other perfectly good computers I could have used, but I opted not to. I'm a lazy, shitty human being. Well, without further personal aggrandizing, let's get to the posts. This comes from my other consistent partner, Drama.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: :)
You: =D
You: =D
Stranger: ?
You: =P
You: +S
You: =S*
Stranger: ???
You: =/
You: =(
You: ='(
You: DX
You: D'X
You: =)
You: =*
You: <3
You: <=)
You: <=O)
You: Stranger: ?
You: =S
You: =D
You: =)=)=)
Stranger: :(
You: =S
You: :(?
You: >=)
You: B-)
You: O=)
You: 8X
You: =S
You: =?
You: =@
You: =#
You: =<
You: =O
You: >=)
You: >=D
You: ~=D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Friday, October 30, 2009

6:00 am

Connecting to server...
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey :)
You: how are you?
You: I have dick cancer.
Stranger: I'm pretty good :)
Stranger: Awh, thats sad :(
You: so I'm not good.
You: The only cure is to have it sucked out.
You: OK THAT'S CHILDISH!
You: I'm sorry.
Stranger: It's ok :P
You: but I do have dick cancer.
Stranger: Prostate* cancer? :P
You: no no
You: DICK CANCER.
Stranger: The term used it Prostate Cancer.
You: my dick's got a tumor.
You: Don't you tell me.
Stranger: I just did :)
You: I make the rules
Stranger: I MAKE THE RULES.
Stranger: YOUR OFF THE TEAM.
You: The doctor said I got cancer of the dick
Stranger: Maybe your dick falls under the star sign 'cancer'.
You: i'm not on your team
You: fucko
Stranger: Because I kicked you off the team!
You: this ain't baseball
Stranger: I don't play baseball.
Stranger: I play Australian Rules !
You: this is mixed martial arts, son.
You: and I choke you
Stranger: Ya mums mixed martial arts.
You: with DICK. CANCER.
Stranger: Well I use all my ninja death stars on you so your dead!
Stranger: OH BURN!
You: how stupid.
You: how utterly unrealistic.
Stranger: Me? Unrealistic? 'Dick cancer.'
You: uhhh
You: that's what the pus is from
You: duh
Stranger: The pus? do you mean puss?
You: yeah yeah
You: whatever
Stranger: I think you are a homosexual man.
Stranger: You talk about male genitalia far too much :)
You: puss, burny stabby things, whatever
You: I haven't seen you add anything to the conversation
You: ya jerk
Stranger: Yeah, but I don't talk about male genitalia straight away to strangers :)
You: you're not a stranger
You: you're mike.
Stranger: No I'm not.
Stranger: I'm Michelle.
You: I've known you ten years
You: C'mon
Stranger: Nope :)
You: that's likely.
Stranger: Not very likely, considering my age.
You: A girl on this site?
Stranger: Yes.
You: psh
You: pish posh
You: and from some english speaking country
You: not a chance
Stranger: Australia :)
You: you say mum
You: there's no "u" in mother
Stranger: FOLLOW THE SPIDERS.
Stranger: :)
You: stop!
You: I love you
Stranger: I don't make the rules.
Stranger: I just go with what my school tell me :)
You: Neo
Stranger: I love you too :)
You: follow the white rabbit
You: Knock Knock

Dr. Dooom is in the room

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: sAY HI
You: g
You: HI!
Stranger: hi youreself
You: no, hi yourself.
Stranger: :D
You: YEAH
You: It is pretty whatever that symbol is.
Stranger: where are u from?
You: I'm from Burbank
You: Near the in-and-out burger.
Stranger: where is that??
You: In... Burbank.
You: California
Stranger: ooooh
Stranger: youre from states
You: Near little larry sellers house.
You: one of them, yes.
You: hence the California.
Stranger: now i understood
Stranger: im from latvia
You: now you understood?
Stranger: its in northen europe
You: Oh, where Dr. Doom is from?
Stranger: whats that?
You: Dr. Doom?
Stranger: yes
You: Dr. Doom is the supreme leader of Latvaria, your home country.
Stranger: im from latvia
You: oh.
You: must be your neighbor.
Stranger: okay, your english is too good for me. last night i was talking to one guy from britain and i didnt have any problems understanding him
Stranger: and you dont know nothing about geography :D
You: I'm sorry?
Stranger: nooooo, im sorry
You: You don't know anything about 20th century comics, I guess.
Stranger: actually, i dont know anything about comics at all
You: I can see that.
Stranger: so you were talking about comics
Stranger: ?
You: Dr. Doom is a super-villain from the Marvel comics universe.
Stranger: and i thought why you are so confusing
Stranger: :D
You: in the comics, Dr. Doom rules a fictional country called Latvaria.
You: Which is a lot like Latvia.
You: Do you see the joke yet?
You: are we breaching boundaries?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: well, im not that dumb :D
You: Well, I wasn't calling you dumb.
You: I was trying to explain a joke that clearly doesn't transcend international boundaries.
You: Do you guys have vampires in Latvia?
You: We have a lot of Vampires in California.
You: Especially in Santa Clara.
Stranger: offcorse, we have alive edvard cullen o0
Stranger: tb edward
You: We have a lot of them near the beach.
Stranger: a lot of edwards, huh? :D
You: luckily, the Frog Brothers keep them in check
You: No, VAMPIRES
You: Blood suckers.
Stranger: and we have aliens
You: fangs and such
You: always trying to kill my brother Michael.
Stranger: offcorse
You: We have a lot of garlic though
You: anything like that in Latvaria?
Stranger: i said - we have aliens
Stranger: green
Stranger: they are flying and trying to eat me
You: there's no such thing as aliens
You: you're a liar.
Stranger: there is
Stranger: nooo, youre liar
You: uh, no.
You: We really have vampires.
You: Everyone knows those are real
You: at least everyone in America
Stranger: everyone knows aliens are real!
You: no.
Stranger: yes
You: come to america
Stranger: come to latvia :D
You: everyone will laugh at you
You: I can't go to Latvia.
Stranger: well if you come to latvia, aliens will kill you and eat your organs
You: Dr. Doom doesn't allow immigration
You: Victor Von Doom
You: In your pooper
You: What now, biznitch?
Stranger: i will tell my aliens to come for you
You: I'm so scared.
Stranger: to kill you cruelly
Stranger: you have to be
You: I fuck aliens in the mouth
Stranger: i do it with vampires
You: ok
You: Vampires suck
You: Badump Bump
You: PUN INTENDED!
You: What?
You: What you got?
You: NOTHING!
You: Sucker
Stranger: you suck
You: I love you
Stranger: :*
Stranger: xoxo
You: Let's fucky sucky
You: Come to California.
Stranger: come to latvia
You: Get shot by the TERMINATOR!
You: Get to tha choppa
Stranger: okay, bitch. ill tell chuck norris to kill you
Stranger: i know him
Stranger: his with aliens
You: You don't know Chuck
You: and that shit's played son
You: Chuck's a bitch
You: My governor is the fucking terminator
Stranger: chuck is cool
Stranger: we have president Zatlers . he can spit fire
You: an indestructible cyborg sent to kill sarah conner
You: Zatlers is a bitch ass
You: Totally lays down to the Eurasian regime
You: what now?
Stranger: okay. im going to tell my mum. my mum can do karate
Stranger: shes a beast
You: your MOM sucks cock in bread lines
Stranger: you too, honey
You: get your ration book
You: cause I'm about to feed you your daily allowance of pwnage.
Stranger: aliens want your brains to soak toilet water
You: your socioeconomic state is faulty, bitch.
You: your post-cold-war establishment is far behind what it should be.
You: and what?
Stranger: okay, i dont understand you again
You: Your country should look to Berlin for a model of post USSR growth, nigga.
You: and?
Stranger: nigga? :D
Stranger: youre worst gangsta
You: your ancestors were Bolsheviks.
Stranger: :D
Stranger: no
You: YEAH!
Stranger: they were one of the first independent latvias politicians
Stranger: so they couldnt be bolsheviks
You: lol
Stranger: not funny
You: I'm just fucking with ya, bitch tits.
Stranger: okay, seriously, which race are you ?:D
You: I don't know anything about your backwards little country. I'm American.
You: We're automatically better than you, with no real reason.
Stranger: thats so cocky
Stranger: but youre still dumb
You: Oh man, it's ok dude.
You: You can't help that your country is small and I couldn't find it on a map.
Stranger: im going to take my strship and kill you with radioactive lazers
You: That's why you little people all speak english.
Stranger: tb starship
You: I'd never learn Latvian.
Stranger:
Stranger: es nerunāju angliski
You: What's your main export, dirt?
You: Gypsies?
Stranger: es atbildu uz šo jaut latviski
Stranger: :D
You: That's just gibberish
You: gdf gdf trer mkjer rei kmer g
You: See, I can do that too.
Stranger: nooo, thats latvian. but i think that your computer isnt showing all the simbols
Stranger: and it is latvia
Stranger: n
Stranger: tu smirdi
You: derka derk sploork blago blag tits shitty
You: That's fucking Porkanese.
You: `gher % igmy flagosl
Stranger: that was latvian moron
You: calm down, lowly peasant.
Stranger: and youre saying that?
Stranger: :D
You: We're not required to learn the languages of mud folk.
You: Nor would we even if it were a real language.
You: So you guys have more than one goat in your town?
You: Tell trotsky to peddle faster. your internets are too slow.
Stranger: youre so rude
You: No...
You: You're just a simple folk. I understand.
You: This is good. We're breaking barriers.
You: So how come your people come to the USA and steal all the time?
You: Are all your people lazy?
Stranger: what do you mean by that?
You: What's it like living next to estonia?
You: Are they pricks like they say on tv?
Stranger: youre racist, NIGGA
You: lol
You: What?
You: You should be proud
You: your language is one of the only remaining Estonian languages left
You: You and Lithuania.
Stranger: you mean Baltic languages???
Stranger: estonia is a country
Stranger: still existing
You: Yes yes.
You: I know that.
Stranger: ooooh, youre so screwed :D
Stranger: estonian languages left lol
Stranger: :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Yeah fuckin' a right

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: from?
You: Potanska
You: Near the border of Shaska and Vigdig.
Stranger: okay
You: Wanna play air drive?
Stranger: whats that?
You: I force my stuff into other things for winning potential.
You: This makes great times on my face.
Stranger: okay
You: Where you from, great friend?
Stranger: sweden
You: Ah, near my hovel. I see well.
Stranger: okay
You: Let us the conversationing.
You: What's fun for you doing?
Stranger: be with friends and get drunk u?
You: I'm for being drunk in many nights at a time.
You: This is how I come to being many children from my family.
You: You?
Stranger: okay, how old are u?
You: exactly in the 20 years.
Stranger: okay..
You: Strange shapes have begun to take form in the lake behind my house. Not like the way?
Stranger: okay, thats not god. are u a boy or girl?
You: I am the fair one.
You: You like my sheep?
Stranger: what sheep?
You: my sheep. You know, how sexy it gets.
Stranger: hum, are u a guy?
You: No. LOL
You: I just say. Don't you view?
Stranger: well i dont like ur sheep..lol
You: I'm sorry. Most think is sexy.
You: I pet my sheep for boys.
Stranger: well, i'm a girl to, so i dont like it
You: oh
You: makes me understooding.
Stranger: okay
You: many men are looking for my sheep in the lake behind my house.
Stranger: okay..
You: That's where they go
You: After I stab them to death.
Stranger: okay, fun for u
You: For touching my pussy.
You: Faggot motherfuckers. I HATE THEM
You: You wouldn't touch my sheep, would you?
You: I'd have to hide you in the lake behind my house.
Stranger: no i wont touch it
You: Good. Bitch.
Stranger: yeah
You: I have a lake behind my house.
You: It's full of shapes.
Stranger: okay, good for u
You: Want to come play in my back yard?
Stranger: no thnx
You: k.
You: Please norway my vicodin
Stranger: what? u live in norway or what?
You: I do.
Stranger: okay,
You: fuck you
Stranger: hell yeah
You: stop it.
You: Or I'll rub my sheep on your face
Stranger: u can try
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

call me Churlish

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Don't stop!
You: Believing
Stranger: hold on to that feeeeeeling
Stranger: streeeet light
Stranger: peeeople
You: I LOVE YOU
Stranger: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL
You: rectally
You: nanana na nanana
You: I don't know the words.
You: somethin somethin soooooooomethin
Stranger: nice
You: that's about right.
You: So, wanna get naked?
You: My two inch penis is mildly hard now.
You: It's pumping like a small thing with stuff in it.
Stranger: oh man
You: GROSS
You: right?
You: fucking wow.
You: I know. I'm reading it too.
You: What a fucking weird thing to say.
Stranger: no not really
You: Don't contradict me please.
You: I work very hard to keep this house clean.
You: and I refuse to let my child tell me what to do.
You: if you're going to live in my house, you'll live by my rules.
Stranger: well this is all over the place now isnt it
You: I guess so.
You: Shit.
You: Have you ever been on a sailboat?
You: I haven't.
Stranger: yep
You: I cry sometimes.
Stranger: it's pleasant
You: When I think about that.
Stranger: that's ok.
Stranger: oh.
You: I don't cry for any other reason.
You: I'm fairly confused, emotionally.
You: Also, I'm on fire.
You: There are very bright lights flashing in my facial bits.
Stranger: you also seem to have a problem prioritizing information
You: hmm...
You: that's an interesting point I'd not thought of before.
You: How might one overcome this obstacle
You: would I be able to do it with a skateboard?
You: Or maybe some low-fat milk?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: both of those things would worl
Stranger: work
You: please attend to my personal needs.
Stranger: in fact, only those things will work
You: My name is churlish.
Stranger: that's an absurd name
You: I've swam the Euphrates
You: and why do you say that?
Stranger: and why do you ask why do i say that?
You: I don't understand the question.
You: Please state again, but differently.
Stranger: i question your questioning
You: Look, his pants are far too tight.
You: You can see his genitals.
Stranger: i'd say that's your biggest selling point
You: Good
You: Let's play turbo jump rope.
You: I find that the best pick-up line to use is "Let me get up in them guts"
You: Would you like to exchange phone numbers?
You: You new one is 10-10-9-2-20
You: your*
You: I'll be taking the old one now.
You: Bebe.
You: That's your name now.
You: BEBE
Stranger: i dont think thats how phone numbers work
You: I do.
You: I know. I am one.
You: Bebe.
Stranger: well that's just hard to make sense of either way
You: I imagine, for someone such as you, Bebe.
You: But for me, it's as clear as a cactus.
You: Where's my cheetos?
You: What the fuck
Stranger: i fed your cheetos to the neighbor's llama
You: I found them
You: I had to climb out of the couch.
You: And my neighbor doesn't have a llama. Where do you think I live>?
You: No no, I LITERALLY fell into the couch.
You: BEBE!
You: Or Beverly.
You: or BBD
You: Bell Biv Divoe?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm uneducated.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: GALATASARAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: i'm prepared to go to court.
You: ARE YOU???
Stranger: i am a lawyer
Stranger: i also work for eurosport
You: I'm a judge.
Stranger: i specialize in labour law
You: And you're guilty!!!
Stranger: i have met many famous athletes
You: OF BEING A DOUCHE!
You: I'm just saying.
Stranger: you are sick
Stranger: sick person
You: Look.
Stranger: you are uneducated
You: Here's the thing.
You: I love you.
Stranger: you are from 4chan perhaps
You: I'm from my house.
Stranger: or another strange site
You: Don't get froggy
You: I'll put my foot in your dick hole, sir.
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Poor form, buddy.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: yeah
You: What's up
You: You want to hear a funny story?
Stranger: sure
You: Well, go look up a comedian then, fucko.
You: I got nothing for you.
You: I'm just sitting around, scratching my dick bits.
Stranger: poor form, buddy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Muggles

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I'm a lvl 15 wizard.
You: I use magic missle.
Stranger: well I go to hogwarts, beat that!
You: Hogwarts isn't real
Stranger: That's something a muggle WOULD say...
You: You're a muggle.
You: Fucking muggle.
Stranger: Whatever, you're not a real wizard either
You: I PLAY a level 15 wizard.
You: Faggot.
You: Obama said my wizard was real.
You: You fucking muggle.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Pro-stupidity

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: PINGASS
You: I fucking GOT IT!
You: LOUD!@!!!W QW
Stranger: t
Stranger: h
You: Hey.
Stranger: e
Stranger: g
Stranger: a
Stranger: m
Stranger: e
You: The game is over.
You: I won.
You: You lose.
Stranger: That's what your mom said.
You: Your mom is made of dick skins.
Stranger: foreskins
Stranger: stupid
You: DICK SKINS!!!
You: Because sometimes it's about how it sounds
Stranger: that's what she said
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Creepy

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: <3
You: I know.
You: I also whatever that means
Stranger: omg. it's a heart. why does everyone keep asking what that is?
Stranger: i thought it was common knowledge.
You: I know what it is.
You: I was FUCKIN' with you
You: C'mon
Stranger: mmmkayyy.
You: yeah
Stranger: you sound about 22. am i right?
You: I sound?
Stranger: type, i guess.
You: No, I am not 22.
Stranger: damn.
Stranger: close?
You: Depends on your definition
You: of close
Stranger: twenty?
You: No
Stranger: 19?
You: no
Stranger: oooh, tell me.
You: Older.
Stranger: 25?
You: Older
Stranger: 30?
You: Yeah, no.
You: Younger.
Stranger: 27?
You: Older.
Stranger: 28?
You: WOOT!
You: You've guessed it the truth
Stranger: i'm sixteen.
Stranger: you'zzz creepinnn.
You: Yeah, not really.
Stranger: yeah, really <3
You: I'm just talking to you.
You: and in fact, you're the reverse creep.
Stranger: haha, why?
You: You knew I was older and you keep talking to me.
You: Beyond that, I'm not creeping because I've said nothing sexual to you.
You: Nor will I
You: Because you're not even a human yet.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

My Brother

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I've had it with you.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: :D
You: oh hi
Stranger: wth.
Stranger: =))
Stranger: :D
You: Let's dance.
You: I said, let's dance.
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: =))
Stranger: how?
You: I FUCKING SAID LET'S DANCE, BITCH!!!!
You: YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW!!!
Stranger: FCK U
Stranger: Shit Brain
You: Oh sorry, that was my brother
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Home school

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: CHIPMUNK LOOKIN ASS
You: I know, right?
You: Fucking chipmunks.
Stranger: sounds swell
You: Chimpunks
You: They're faggots
Stranger: no
You: they do gay stuff.
Stranger: i like how you spell chimpunks
Stranger: chimps/punks
Stranger: same diff
You: I spell it that way because I am very awesome
You: and a lot of people like me
Stranger: NO DOUBT
You: I'm really popular in my high school.
You: I have like 50 facebook friends.
Stranger: VOTED BEST SMILE AND BEST BOD
You: No, I don't get voted on.
You: I'm home schooled.
Stranger: sorry ur highness
Stranger: U WIN
You: WOOT
You: berm ber bermpa berm berm!!!
Stranger: WEEZY WAYNE WOULD B PROUD
You: who's he?
Stranger: NVM.
You: I should know him
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZQwXoL9s6c
You: I can't visit youtube.
Stranger: WHY THE....
You: my mom doesn't let me
Stranger: AW WELL SHIT
You: she says that youtube is a bad influnce.
Stranger: IT IS
You: that it's immoral and full of socially corrupt images
Stranger: NEEDS 2 B VIEWED THO
Stranger: we pop em like orville redenbacher
You: Pop what?
Stranger: EM
You: em?
You: what's an em
Stranger: ALL OF EM
You: ?
Stranger: DEM BITCHES
You: I'm very confused.
Stranger: AW
You: Are you yelling at me?
Stranger: *givez you weezy f baby tutor*
Stranger: SARRI
You: Are you speaking english?
You: I really can't understand you
You: Are you from another country?
You: I love other cultures
Stranger: ENGRISH
Stranger: ***
Stranger: im a murdera..........
You: ok, you must be mentally handicapped
Stranger: youre FUCKIN Right i am
Stranger: i deserve to be treated equally
You: simmer down, sir.
You: Don't get drool on your keyboard.
Stranger: IM NOT A SIR
Stranger: i usually only drool when im napping in class
You: Well, you are totally stupid.
Stranger: totez.
Stranger: YOU DONT KNOW SHIT SIR
Stranger: THIS ISNT MY COMPLETE IDENTITY
You: So if you're a girl, you should get a smart man to wed you.
Stranger: JUDGING OVER OMEGLE=COOL
You: I'm not passing a judgment
You: I'm just reacting to your foolishness.
Stranger: "YOU ARE TOTALLY STUPID"
Stranger: JUDGIST
You: Rapist.
Stranger: nudist
You: Poopist
Stranger: i cant even........................
You: I know.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Nobody's on the other line

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: realgm?
You: The number you have dialed is not in service.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Final fantasy sucks

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: The user you're looking for is away
Stranger: 12-6cloud?
You: The user you're looking for is away
Stranger: 12-6cloud?
You: The user you're looking for is away
Stranger: 12-6cloud?
You: The user you're looking for is away
Stranger: 12-6cloud?
You: The user you're looking for has returned.
Stranger: 12-6cloud?
You: I don't understand.
You: Is that some sort of code?
You: Or are you just a fucking idiot?
Stranger: yes or no.12-6cloud?
You: That's not a question.\
Stranger: google it
You: Please rephrase your question in the form of not being an idiot
Stranger: it is 12 minus 6 cloud
You: how long have you been this much of an idiot?
You: I imagine this is very interesting to you.
Stranger: go fuck yourself
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

All of you can suck my cunt.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey!
You: i dont like you
You: hi
Stranger: me neither
Stranger: i'm an asshole ):
You: im sorry, i was jking
You: i love you
Stranger: but i hate you ):
Your conversational partner has disconnected.





This is presented to you by the letter "a", the number "6" and LIZ


I fucking love you

Another one from Liz, who didn't tell me I could call her that, but I don't care. This is my blog, god damn it.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: wat up
You: da sky?
You: hi
You: hows it going?
Stranger: haha nice one gud. u?
You: im ok
Stranger: \m/f?
You: female
You: why do you ask?
Stranger: dont wana b talkin to a 40 yr old guy
You: oh....how about a 40 yr old girl?
Stranger: um wudnt mind that much
You: oh
You: im 39
You: not really
Stranger: so how old r u then
You: 200
You: minus one 0
You: 20
You: where you from and how old are you?
Stranger: san diego and 17. senior in hs
You: and i guess your a guy?
Stranger: yup
You: where in the world in carmen sandiego?
Stranger: coronado
You: oh
You: ok
You: i love you
Stranger: ya u
Stranger: thats cool
You: you love me too, right?
Stranger: sure
You: say it, or i ll dump you
Stranger: ur weird
You: i hate you for the pain you've caused me
Stranger: haha i apologize
You: ok i forgive you
You: i love you
You: your turn
You: sugar pie? why wont you say it?
You: muffin?
Stranger: wtf haha
You: I LOVE YOU!
SAY IT!!!!!!!!
Stranger: idk u
You: but you can love me anyway
You: just for fun
Stranger: not really i dont say till i mean it
You: hmm
You: okay......
Stranger: ya.......
You: what if you said it with the mutual understanding that you were lying...would that be okay?
Stranger: na i dont do that haha wher u from
You: texas
You: yeehaw!
Stranger: haha nice
Stranger: wat city
You: the boring city known as tyler.......the main attraction here is a rose garden
You: tyler sucks
Stranger: hahahaha that sux.
Stranger: im sorry haha
You: yep...im sorry too
Stranger: do u g2 college
You: i need to get out of here
You: yes
You: TYLER junior college
You: its an okay school, but its location sucks
Stranger: oh cool, wat u majoring in
You: social work and psychology
Stranger: oooh i wana do psychology
You: cool, i'll tell you how if you do me a favor
Stranger: sure haha wat
You: tell me you love me
You: i love you
Stranger: y wud i wana do that
You: so that i'll pay for your psych degree
You: good deal for u
You: tell me!
Stranger: y do u want me 2 say that bak
Stranger: ok..........................love u 2
You: because.....
You: hwwww
You: aww*
You: thank you
Stranger: anytime
You: i hate you for the pain youve caused me
Stranger: lol sorry again
You: thats ok
You: i love you
Stranger: ok u can stop now
You: ok
You: bye bye
Stranger: later
You have disconnected.

A battery of posts from the DRAMA

First:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: u dont make sense to me
Stranger: hi
Stranger: is that so!!
You: yes it is
Stranger: i think u re a guy!!
You: i think ur a mushroom
Stranger: nope a peacock
You: damn
Stranger: so bu bu byeeeeeee
You: NO
You: dont leave
Stranger: so ur name??
You: I have no name
You: my parents gave me no name
Stranger: byeeeeeeeee
You: BO
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Then:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger:
You: skware!
Stranger: 祀邸祀邸ㄐ
You: more skwares!
Stranger: why
You: idk u put them there ask urself
You: maybe they have prizes inside we should open them
Stranger: by the way, lets talk about histiory
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

As well as:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: I'm a duck
Stranger: m/f?
You: uh... depends
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

In addition to:

Stranger: ASL NOW BITCH
You: ASL NOW BITCH
Stranger: OK
Stranger: F UCK
Stranger: 16/M/FL
You: OK F UCK
Stranger: COME RAPE ME ;d
Stranger: IN THE BUTT
You: 16/M/FL
You: creep
You have disconnected.

Plus:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 18 m egypt
You: EGYPTIAN
You: moose
Stranger: u?
You: i come from the land of many bubbles
You: *bubble bubble bubble*
You: speak spot
Stranger: really
Stranger: asl ?
You: 16/ female/ land of many bubbles
Stranger: ok can we talk on msn i'm not a cyber or nothig just want to make friends and ..... know about bubbles ;)
You: u r a weird little person
Stranger: why u said that
You: r u a cowboy or an indian?
Stranger: non of that
Stranger: i'am a normal one
You: nonagons have 9 sides!
Stranger: u are freak
You: thank you
You: I love freaks
Stranger: do u want to talk on msn ot not :@
You: I have a pet robot
Stranger: what ?
You: his name is Juju and he does my laundry
Stranger: can we talk on msn
You: I cant speak
You: i can only type
Stranger: on can we type there
You: only if i get cotten candy
Stranger: what mean by that ?
You: cotten candy? its the candy of fluffyness! how dare u not know about that stuff
Stranger: are udrunk
You: i used to be love drunk but now im hungover love u forever but now its over
You: ill get u drunk get u love drunk off my humps
You: pick your poison
Stranger: hahahahah
Stranger: i will not drunk ever
Stranger: i'm muslim
You: MOOOO
You: cows go MOOOOO
Stranger: what ?
You: cows say MOOOO
Stranger: as u say exactly
Stranger: u are cow
You: im a purple people eater
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Meanwhile:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HEY
You: ROMEO?
Stranger: JULIET?
You: YES
Stranger: YESS
You: LOL I FOUND U
Stranger: GET ON THE FUCKIN BED AND LETS FUCKIN MAKE BABIES
You: OMG I LOVE U
Stranger: I WANNA MAKE BABIES
Stranger: GET ON THE BED
You: WHY?
Stranger: BECAUSE
You: *sits on bed*
Stranger: GET THE WHIP
Stranger: PED CREAM
Stranger: SICLE WITH
Stranger: JIZZLEJAZZLE
Stranger: AND FARTSAUCE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Fuck:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i dont like clowns
Stranger: Good for you
Stranger: :
Stranger: :p
You: ur not a clown is disguise r u?
Stranger: nope
You: r u sure?
Stranger: yep
You: are u absitively posilutely sure?
Stranger: 100 million trillion billion percent :D
You: ok I trust u...
Stranger: :)
You: *eats a goldfish*
Stranger: yum
You: its especially yummy if u eat them alive
Stranger: I bet it is
You: Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are soft and taste good in ketchup
You: *balances a pickle on ur head*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


All that goes directly into your mouth.