Justin Long

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: 'ello

You: Yes, hi.

Stranger: how goes it?

You: It's true.

Stranger: So it's not false either.

You: I am the coolest person ever.

Stranger: Ever?

You: Just so you know.

You: Yes, EVER.

You: EVER.

Stranger: What honor this is.

You: It should be.

You: I'd be really honored, if I were you.

Stranger: Of course.

Stranger: Shall I hand you a trophy? Or are you "too cool" for that.

You: No, that would just make me a dick.

Stranger: Oh.

Stranger: Too bad.

You: You can give me a hand job though.

Stranger: Whoopie.

You: Cool people like hand jobs.

Stranger: Is that right?

You: So it is written.

You: So it shall be.

Stranger: done.

You: Get to work, you fat idiot!!!

You: Or I'll cut your hands off!!!

Stranger: No need for violence now.

You: Because I'm not cool

Stranger: I'm not even fat.

You: I'm a stupid liar!

You: and I hate your face.

Stranger: The feeling is mutual.

You: Wow.

You: Take it back.

You: I was kidding.

You: Cool people do that.

You: I guess you wouldn't know anything about that though...

Stranger: I would.

Stranger: I'm the queen of sarcasm.

You: I'm the king of cool.

You: and sarcasm...

You: well, it's not cool.

Stranger: I guess we should fuck then.

You: I agree.

You: this sounds totally cool.

Stranger: Agreed.

You: WIN!

Stranger: Who are you anyways?

You: I'm this guy.

You: Lol.

You: I'm this stranger guy.

Stranger: Neato.

You: I'm like jesus.

You: But more funny.

Stranger: Jebus?

You: and less of a sissy.

You: and I won't die for you.

You: So I guess I'm not like jesus at all.

You: I'm more like Mork.

Stranger: from Ork

You: I come from an egg.

Stranger: and your son is really Jonathan whats his name.

You: Will you be the Mindy to my wacky antics?

Stranger: sounds like a fantastic adventure of random.

You: His name is like Winters or some shit

You: maybe.

Stranger: Jonathan Winters, yes.

You: See.

You: Cool.

Stranger: who is basically insane.

Stranger: and old.

You: Sounds like fun to me.

You: minus the drunken sodomy.

Stranger: of course. For our sakes we must cut that part out.

Stranger: Nobody likes sodomy unless it's in a snuff film.

You: Well, no, I really like sodomy.

You: Just not from old ass crazy dudes.

Stranger: you for got the redneck part.

Stranger: and the backwoods

Stranger: and boats.

You: are we talking Deliverance?

Stranger: That would be it.

You: Oh.

You: That's no good.

Stranger: Agreed.

You: So, are you old enough to engage in conceptual sex?

Stranger: I guess.

You: because it's going to be like a modern art masterpiece!!!

Stranger: You know i'm just bullshitting.

You: Drum line.

Stranger: Omegle isnt serious.

You: Aww, come on ya fuck

You: I know that

Stranger: About as serious as serious does.

You: I do this for a living.

Stranger: Woop.

You: I make serious money.

You: Just to chat with you.

Stranger: Woop woop.

You: And to tell you the truth

You: It's awesome.

You: You know why?

Stranger: Are you in California or some third world country?

You: Nope.

You: I live on a boat.

You: I'm in the lake.

Stranger: Let me guess.

You: GUESS!!!

Stranger: Eccentric Millionaire?

You: You're right!

You: Is that wierd?

Stranger: Nah.

You: weird even.

Stranger: not even that.

You: How long have you wanted to be a part of my life?

Stranger: for about the past 1 nano second.

You: Because I knew, right from the get go, you'd be a big part of my future.

You: Back at hi, or whatever the fuck you said.

Stranger: The first thing I said was " 'ello"

You: Yeah, that drew me right in

You: blah blah blah, I love you or whatever.

Stranger: Whoopie.

You: let's engage in preternatural hetero mating rituals

Stranger: some Discovery Channel stuff.

Stranger: or even Animal Planet.

You: Bingo

You: You bring the lube and I'll bring the socks

Stranger: Sounds like a party.

You: a fucking pounding party

You: I have chips, toys and a video camera.

You: Ok, where do you live?

Stranger: In a tree.

You: I'll bring my chopper to you.

You: THIS IS REAL!

You: I LOVE YOU!

Stranger: Omegle = Not Real

You: NOOOOOOOOO

You: It's real.

You: We connected

You: you love me and so do I.

Stranger: I love my hand.

Stranger: My hand does some miraculous things.

You: me too.

You: since we're both guys, we should jerk each other off.

You: with our dicks.

You: Timmy agrees.

You: Right timmy?

Stranger: <>

You: Prove it.

Stranger: What does it matter?

You: TITS OR GTFO

Stranger: -_-

You: haha.

You: Just kidding.

You: no. DO IT!!!

You: Seriously though.

You: I kid.

You: NOW PROVE IT!!!

Stranger: Yowza.

You: hehehe

You: calm down.

You: You're on Punk'd

Stranger: Hooray.

You: ohhhh

You: got you!!!

You: or whatever.

You: I'm a sexy asian camwhore

Stranger: Congrats.

You: Stick em up

You: See, you'

You: You're not even trying now

You: and that really pains me.

Stranger: What? One word answers are the shit.

You: we could have had a really great life together

Stranger: Probably.

Stranger: Up in my treehouse.

You: If I wanted one word answers, I'd have talked to my girl friend.

Stranger: Well we wouldnt want that now would we.

You: Stupid whore, always texting in front of me.

You: Tomorrow I'm going to shit in her bathtub.

Stranger: Good for you. Feces is the most fertile while fresh.

You: God damn it, claudia.

You: I'm going to fist you the wrong way

Stranger: o.O

Stranger: Do you have a penchant for gluttony?

You: Right in your Cerberus Pit

You: I don't know if I do...

You: why do you ask?

Stranger: It's fun to ask silly questions and get shocking answers.

You: Like, do I enjoy eating?

Stranger: Gluttony can be the over consumption of anything.

You: Do you have a penchant for DP?

Stranger: I wouldnt say that I do.

You: I glutton the shit out of shit.

Stranger: Want a cookie?

You: no not really.

You: I don't enjoy cookies

Stranger: Too bad.

Stranger: I clean out my cookies everytime I sign off.

You: ooky cookies

You: that's a game

You: Where in, a number of men rattle off jack sauce on a cookie, and the last one to cum eats it.

Stranger: That sounds like a horrible version of Bukkake.

You: It's a more modern version, with actual reward.

Stranger: I just realized something.

You: Go

You: What did you realize?

Stranger: I like this band.

You: WHAT BAND?!?

Stranger: The Deftones.

You: I like this one too.

You: Where in, I actually am wearing the one I'm listening too, randomly.

Stranger: which would be?

You: Tool

Stranger: My cousin likes them.

You: Your cousin's a fucking jerk.

You: We're friends now.

Stranger: Nah.

Stranger: He's not a jerk.

You: Oh.

You: Sorry.

You: I get that wrong sometimes.

Stranger: No big whoop.

You: give me all your personal info so we can hang out.

Stranger: Uhh.

You: lol

You: Don't you "lol" me.

You: bitch.

Stranger: You lol'ed yourself.

You: not you.

You: I know that.

Stranger: -_-

You: Did you seriously think I was talking to you?

You: Come on.

You: How long have we known each other?

Stranger: 5 minutes.

You: I know.

You: Totally seems like ten.

Stranger: or 1.

You: Remember that one time you tried to give me a trophy? And I was all like "No, cause that would make me a dick"

You: That was fun. Remember that?

Stranger: Gaggles of hilarity.

You: You're so good to me, Larry.

You: HI Larry T!

You: ohhhh hohohohohehehe

Stranger: Lol. El oh El.

You: no, but seriously.

You: I'm putting my game face on.

This actually continued for a little while longer, but it consisted solely of shameless self-whoring, the likes of which I will not subject you to.