AIDS Cat

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: i like you
You: cool
You: im not sure if i like you yet
Stranger: why ?
You: well.
Stranger: :'(
You: im not easily impressed as you it seems
You: whut up
Stranger: WHUT UP BITCH
Stranger: WHUT UP
You: whuuut!
Stranger: WHUT UP
Stranger: WHUT UP
Stranger: WHUT UP
You: WHUTTTTTTTTTTTT
Stranger: you mean "shut up" i guess
Stranger: YOU're fat
Stranger: FAT
You: aww thanks
Stranger: FAAAAAAATY
You: haha
Stranger: ur welcome
Stranger: little bitch
You: sometimes i guess
Stranger: oh come on, lets fight
Stranger: douchebag
You: i dont know how
Stranger: coz youre a cunt
You: probably thats the reason
Stranger: oh god
You: i thought you said you liked me
Stranger: i did not anymore
You: menopause much
Stranger: wtf
You: sorry
You: its apersonal thing i know
Stranger: i fucked you cat last night
You: woah i wondered where she went
Stranger: right to my bed, jimmy
You: shes not declawed u know... be carful
Stranger: once my tongue in her asshole, she got declawed
Stranger: dont worry abt it
You: ew.... you just got cat aids
You: sorry to say...
Stranger: LOL MEDICAL FAIL
You: LOL
Stranger: aids is caused by HIV ( HUMAN immudificeience virus)
Stranger: HUMAN
Stranger: learn medecine
Stranger: bitch
You: there are feline aids as well...
Stranger: nope
Stranger: you idiot
You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feline_immunodeficiency_virus
Stranger: wtf
You: soo.. yeha
Stranger: you created this page
You: poor fluffy
You: how did i in one second?
Stranger: you started talking abt aids
Stranger: you knew ill say it
You: no i dindt...
You: why would i know yould talk about licking my cats ass?
You: i should expect that from you
Stranger: nevertheless, HIV cannot pass from feline to human
Stranger: you FAILED
You: haha you read my fake wiki page!
Stranger: nope
You: HSHAHAHAHA
Stranger: it just cant be transmissible
Stranger: we dont have same immunical system
You: HAHAHAHH! READ MY WIKI PAGE
Stranger: omg
You: HA HA
Stranger: you wrote this page in english, chinese, french, spanish, italian,...
You: duhh you even said i did
Stranger: youre the best, buddy!
You: right on!
Stranger: so your cat gonna die ?
Stranger: sry abt that bro
You: you got her now. once you rape a cat shes ur problem
Stranger: no way
Stranger: wher r u from ?
You: around
Stranger: no i mean from what country ?
You: you know somewhere next to that lake and stuff
Stranger: please tell me
You: i just did!
Stranger: ok
Stranger: what lake ?
You: you cant send the cat back
You: shes urs now so just drop it
Stranger: i wont send it back
Stranger: ill eat her for my monday brunch
Stranger: wher do u live ?
You: shes got aids man... thats gross
Stranger: nononon
Stranger: let me guess
Stranger: youre from ....
Stranger: ...
Stranger: .... CUBA
Stranger: right ?
You: haha i wish
Stranger: ho
You: actually i dont
Stranger: so youre a socialist
Stranger: but you dont live in a socialist country
You: whats that mean?
Stranger: then youre from ... RUSSIA
You: my countrys socialist!
Stranger: oh
You: no..
Stranger: england ?
You: or not
Stranger: usa ?
You: or yeah usa is so socialist
Stranger: uruguay ?
You: thats not a country silly
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: learn geography bitch
You: nah dee im good
You: i dont like learning about made up lord of the rings countries
Stranger: wtf
You: you know frodo and shit
You: had a ring and scar on his head
Stranger: uruguay ( or URU-GAY) is in south america
Stranger: shut up
Stranger: you dont know whatyoure talking abt
You: he wore glasses and had sex with horses
You: you know
Stranger: nono
You: yes!
Stranger: you saw "Lord of the pussies"
Stranger: porn version
You: i dont think so
Stranger: as you speak a perfect english, you come from UK, ireland, usa, canada, SF or australia
You: not perfect
Stranger: coz your FAT
You: that will do that to you
Stranger: id say .. UK
Stranger: am i right ???
You: ...
Stranger: god i hate UK
You: ...
Stranger: ...
You: ...
Stranger: ...
You: ....
Stranger: ...
You: ...cool
Stranger: you lost
You: atleast i never had sex with an aids cat
You: soo...
You: yeah
Stranger: cat are always horny
You have disconnected.
Submitted 4/18/10 by Melissa B

BLORL You Live With Your Mom

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey baby
Stranger: asl?
You: 49 male who still lives with his mom
You: wanna move in with me?
You: you wont need to pay rent
You: we can play xbox all day together
You: and maybe get a little naughty and do other thing
You: s
Stranger: as nice as it sounds...im not interested in americans :)
You: thats cool
You: im not american
You: so that means you can move in
You: but judging by how slow you type, you must by asian
Stranger: u sed mom..
Stranger: i dont lik ppl hu say mom
You: you must not be able to find the keys on your keyboard
You: why? did your mom die?
You: I just want you to know that I pissed on her grave stone
You: and shit on it too
You: and I wiped my ass with the flowers you gave her
Stranger: my mam is actualy dead...dont fuckin joke about ya ARSE!
You: just did
You: still having trouble finding those keys?
You: took you long enough to type that big long sentence
You: I can send you a book called "keyboarding for dummies"
Stranger: says da 1 stil stayin with his mammy :P
You: least I have a mommy
You: and she loves me very much
You: unlike your mom
You: shes dead and she still hates you
Stranger: retard :L
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted 2/20/10 by Guy Buddy

Guy Buddy's Not a Fan of Hippies

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey baby
Stranger: how ya doing?
You: im doing great
Stranger: thats great
You: im a little cold in my cheetah thong
Stranger: haha cheetah
You: my cheetah thong really shows off my BALLS
Stranger: ummm thats not creepy at all
You: Cool, that means you wont care if I send you a photo of me
Stranger: sorry i dont like ppl who wear clothes
You: cheetah thongs dont count as cloths
You: theyre technically skin
Stranger: yeah in book they do
You: cheetah skin
Stranger: well i like nude
Stranger: my friend hates you she is part of peta
You: ummm thats not creepy at all
You: is your friend an enviormentalist?
Stranger: she is a hippie without poit
Stranger: poy
Stranger: potr
Stranger: pot
You: tell your friend right now i'm bashing a hamsters head with a hammer
You: oh a hippie?
You: tell your friend im chopping down a tree
You: right now
Stranger: yeah she said that gives her a boner that she is gnna kill you with
Stranger: Let me tell you something, motherfucker!
You: cool i gotta boner right now too. We can play dick sabers
Stranger: I highly doubt that that little hamster ever did anything to you!
You: i always win in that game
You: the hamster acually came up to me and licked my finger
You: it was so cut
You: cute*
You: then I smashed its head open with my hammer
You: then I showed that tree no mercy and chopped it down
Stranger: I am going to hunt you down, & when I do, I'm going to take that boner of yours slap it on a table, along with your balls, & I am going to bash every last bit of semen out of them with a mallet.
You: cool. You may not know it, but my genitals all grow back instantly
You: ill let you chop off my dick twice. One for you and one for your friend
Stranger: I am then going to chop off your dick, tie it to a tree, & then repeatedly bash your head into it repeatedly, until your brains are oozing out.
Stranger: Then, I am going to make your sick ass lick every bit of brain up.
Stranger: Fuck with a hippie again, bitch.
Stranger: I'm calling Peta on you.
You: they call me chuck norris
Stranger: your not an animal
You: i fucked up the last person that said they would call peta on me
Stranger: haha chuck norris is not you he give me nose bleeds and i dont have one
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted 2/20/10 by Guy Buddy

Welcome Back

Sorry it's been over a year since I've updated this. I was eaten by a shark, got cancer, fell from space, shot, stabbed, raped by some guiedos in the park, got a job with the CIA, got fired, joined the army, died, resurrected, formed a religion, got arrested and then got married. I've been getting a lot of submissions over the year, which surprises the shit out of me. You'll see some of the funny ones I've gotten, and none of the utterly shit ones I've also gotten. Yeah, on a note about submissions, I will not post chats that are incredibly dumb and unfunny. If your post makes me laugh, I'll put it up on here. If it doesn't I'm going to cast it into the depths of my trash folder. Cool. Thanks, and hope to see your submissions up here soon.

Gold Membership

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: f or m
You: pics on profile.
You: female
You: with webcam
You: wanna chat?
Stranger: ilove you
You: Check out my profile.
Stranger: o wha
You: on omegle
You: my user profile has a ton of pics
Stranger: ooo
You: aren't you a gold member?
Stranger: no
You: oh. I guess you can't view my profile then
You: that sucks
Stranger: yea
You: Go sign up for a gold membership
You: it's $17.99 for a year
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

fava beans and a nice chianti

The following submitted by some fucking chick named Anna.


Omegle conversation log
2010-01-29
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hyyy
Stranger: m/f
You: f you?
Stranger: m
Stranger: wanna cyber
You: are you a creepy man
Stranger: yes
Stranger: im 45
You: yay!
You: married?
Stranger: and finger my bellybuton
Stranger: to little boys yes
You: my my scandlous!
Stranger: i lead them to my car sayin i have a puppy
Stranger: but really i just rape them n stuff them in my nap sack
You: thats sooooooo not cool man
Stranger: like hannibal lector
Stranger: im like the modern day jeffery dahmer
Stranger: i eat them sometimes
You: dont know who the fudge that is
You: like Sweeney todd?
Stranger: but mostly i masturbate with their blood
Stranger: no
Stranger: bro
Stranger: hes in jail
You have disconnected.

I heard it in a song once

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hiya\
Stranger: wsupp
You: oh, nothing.
You: Just buring the midnight oil
Stranger: aha
Stranger: same
You: and rubbing my nips
Stranger: lol
You: with chapstick
You: because I heard it in a song.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.