My Brother

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: I've had it with you.

Stranger: hey

Stranger: :D

You: oh hi

Stranger: wth.

Stranger: =))

Stranger: :D

You: Let's dance.

You: I said, let's dance.

Stranger: huh?

Stranger: =))

Stranger: how?

You: I FUCKING SAID LET'S DANCE, BITCH!!!!

You: YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW!!!

Stranger: FCK U

Stranger: Shit Brain

You: Oh sorry, that was my brother

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Home school

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Stranger: CHIPMUNK LOOKIN ASS

You: I know, right?

You: Fucking chipmunks.

Stranger: sounds swell

You: Chimpunks

You: They're faggots

Stranger: no

You: they do gay stuff.

Stranger: i like how you spell chimpunks

Stranger: chimps/punks

Stranger: same diff

You: I spell it that way because I am very awesome

You: and a lot of people like me

Stranger: NO DOUBT

You: I'm really popular in my high school.

You: I have like 50 facebook friends.

Stranger: VOTED BEST SMILE AND BEST BOD

You: No, I don't get voted on.

You: I'm home schooled.

Stranger: sorry ur highness

Stranger: U WIN

You: WOOT

You: berm ber bermpa berm berm!!!

Stranger: WEEZY WAYNE WOULD B PROUD

You: who's he?

Stranger: NVM.

You: I should know him

Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZQwXoL9s6c

You: I can't visit youtube.

Stranger: WHY THE....

You: my mom doesn't let me

Stranger: AW WELL SHIT

You: she says that youtube is a bad influnce.

Stranger: IT IS

You: that it's immoral and full of socially corrupt images

Stranger: NEEDS 2 B VIEWED THO

Stranger: we pop em like orville redenbacher

You: Pop what?

Stranger: EM

You: em?

You: what's an em

Stranger: ALL OF EM

You: ?

Stranger: DEM BITCHES

You: I'm very confused.

Stranger: AW

You: Are you yelling at me?

Stranger: *givez you weezy f baby tutor*

Stranger: SARRI

You: Are you speaking english?

You: I really can't understand you

You: Are you from another country?

You: I love other cultures

Stranger: ENGRISH

Stranger: ***

Stranger: im a murdera..........

You: ok, you must be mentally handicapped

Stranger: youre FUCKIN Right i am

Stranger: i deserve to be treated equally

You: simmer down, sir.

You: Don't get drool on your keyboard.

Stranger: IM NOT A SIR

Stranger: i usually only drool when im napping in class

You: Well, you are totally stupid.

Stranger: totez.

Stranger: YOU DONT KNOW SHIT SIR

Stranger: THIS ISNT MY COMPLETE IDENTITY

You: So if you're a girl, you should get a smart man to wed you.

Stranger: JUDGING OVER OMEGLE=COOL

You: I'm not passing a judgment

You: I'm just reacting to your foolishness.

Stranger: "YOU ARE TOTALLY STUPID"

Stranger: JUDGIST

You: Rapist.

Stranger: nudist

You: Poopist

Stranger: i cant even........................

You: I know.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Nobody's on the other line

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Stranger: realgm?

You: The number you have dialed is not in service.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Final fantasy sucks

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Stranger: hi

You: The user you're looking for is away

Stranger: 12-6cloud?

You: The user you're looking for is away

Stranger: 12-6cloud?

You: The user you're looking for is away

Stranger: 12-6cloud?

You: The user you're looking for is away

Stranger: 12-6cloud?

You: The user you're looking for has returned.

Stranger: 12-6cloud?

You: I don't understand.

You: Is that some sort of code?

You: Or are you just a fucking idiot?

Stranger: yes or no.12-6cloud?

You: That's not a question.\

Stranger: google it

You: Please rephrase your question in the form of not being an idiot

Stranger: it is 12 minus 6 cloud

You: how long have you been this much of an idiot?

You: I imagine this is very interesting to you.

Stranger: go fuck yourself

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

All of you can suck my cunt.

Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hey! You: i dont like you You: hi Stranger: me neither Stranger: i'm an asshole ): You: im sorry, i was jking You: i love you Stranger: but i hate you ): Your conversational partner has disconnected. This is presented to you by the letter "a", the number "6" and LIZ

I fucking love you

Another one from Liz, who didn't tell me I could call her that, but I don't care. This is my blog, god damn it.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: wat up

You: da sky?

You: hi

You: hows it going?

Stranger: haha nice one gud. u?

You: im ok

Stranger: \m/f?

You: female

You: why do you ask?

Stranger: dont wana b talkin to a 40 yr old guy

You: oh....how about a 40 yr old girl?

Stranger: um wudnt mind that much

You: oh

You: im 39

You: not really

Stranger: so how old r u then

You: 200

You: minus one 0

You: 20

You: where you from and how old are you?

Stranger: san diego and 17. senior in hs

You: and i guess your a guy?

Stranger: yup

You: where in the world in carmen sandiego?

Stranger: coronado

You: oh

You: ok

You: i love you

Stranger: ya u

Stranger: thats cool

You: you love me too, right?

Stranger: sure

You: say it, or i ll dump you

Stranger: ur weird

You: i hate you for the pain you've caused me

Stranger: haha i apologize

You: ok i forgive you

You: i love you

You: your turn

You: sugar pie? why wont you say it?

You: muffin?

Stranger: wtf haha

You: I LOVE YOU!
SAY IT!!!!!!!!

Stranger: idk u

You: but you can love me anyway

You: just for fun

Stranger: not really i dont say till i mean it

You: hmm

You: okay......

Stranger: ya.......

You: what if you said it with the mutual understanding that you were lying...would that be okay?

Stranger: na i dont do that haha wher u from

You: texas

You: yeehaw!

Stranger: haha nice

Stranger: wat city

You: the boring city known as tyler.......the main attraction here is a rose garden

You: tyler sucks

Stranger: hahahaha that sux.

Stranger: im sorry haha

You: yep...im sorry too

Stranger: do u g2 college

You: i need to get out of here

You: yes

You: TYLER junior college

You: its an okay school, but its location sucks

Stranger: oh cool, wat u majoring in

You: social work and psychology

Stranger: oooh i wana do psychology

You: cool, i'll tell you how if you do me a favor

Stranger: sure haha wat

You: tell me you love me

You: i love you

Stranger: y wud i wana do that

You: so that i'll pay for your psych degree

You: good deal for u

You: tell me!

Stranger: y do u want me 2 say that bak

Stranger: ok..........................love u 2

You: because.....

You: hwwww

You: aww*

You: thank you

Stranger: anytime

You: i hate you for the pain youve caused me

Stranger: lol sorry again

You: thats ok

You: i love you

Stranger: ok u can stop now

You: ok

You: bye bye

Stranger: later

You have disconnected.

A battery of posts from the DRAMA

First:

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You: u dont make sense to me

Stranger: hi

Stranger: is that so!!

You: yes it is

Stranger: i think u re a guy!!

You: i think ur a mushroom

Stranger: nope a peacock

You: damn

Stranger: so bu bu byeeeeeee

You: NO

You: dont leave

Stranger: so ur name??

You: I have no name

You: my parents gave me no name

Stranger: byeeeeeeeee

You: BO

Your conversational partner has disconnected

Then:

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: 炎

You: skware!

Stranger: 祀邸祀邸ㄐ

You: more skwares!

Stranger: why

You: idk u put them there ask urself

You: maybe they have prizes inside we should open them

Stranger: by the way, lets talk about histiory

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

As well as:

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Stranger: hey

You: I'm a duck

Stranger: m/f?

You: uh... depends

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

In addition to:

Stranger: ASL NOW BITCH

You: ASL NOW BITCH

Stranger: OK

Stranger: F UCK

Stranger: 16/M/FL

You: OK F UCK

Stranger: COME RAPE ME ;d

Stranger: IN THE BUTT

You: 16/M/FL

You: creep

You have disconnected.

Plus:

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: 18 m egypt

You: EGYPTIAN

You: moose

Stranger: u?

You: i come from the land of many bubbles

You: *bubble bubble bubble*

You: speak spot

Stranger: really

Stranger: asl ?

You: 16/ female/ land of many bubbles

Stranger: ok can we talk on msn i'm not a cyber or nothig just want to make friends and ..... know about bubbles ;)

You: u r a weird little person

Stranger: why u said that

You: r u a cowboy or an indian?

Stranger: non of that

Stranger: i'am a normal one

You: nonagons have 9 sides!

Stranger: u are freak

You: thank you

You: I love freaks

Stranger: do u want to talk on msn ot not :@

You: I have a pet robot

Stranger: what ?

You: his name is Juju and he does my laundry

Stranger: can we talk on msn

You: I cant speak

You: i can only type

Stranger: on can we type there

You: only if i get cotten candy

Stranger: what mean by that ?

You: cotten candy? its the candy of fluffyness! how dare u not know about that stuff

Stranger: are udrunk

You: i used to be love drunk but now im hungover love u forever but now its over

You: ill get u drunk get u love drunk off my humps

You: pick your poison

Stranger: hahahahah

Stranger: i will not drunk ever

Stranger: i'm muslim

You: MOOOO

You: cows go MOOOOO

Stranger: what ?

You: cows say MOOOO

Stranger: as u say exactly

Stranger: u are cow

You: im a purple people eater

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Meanwhile:

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: HEY

You: ROMEO?

Stranger: JULIET?

You: YES

Stranger: YESS

You: LOL I FOUND U

Stranger: GET ON THE FUCKIN BED AND LETS FUCKIN MAKE BABIES

You: OMG I LOVE U

Stranger: I WANNA MAKE BABIES

Stranger: GET ON THE BED

You: WHY?

Stranger: BECAUSE

You: *sits on bed*

Stranger: GET THE WHIP

Stranger: PED CREAM

Stranger: SICLE WITH

Stranger: JIZZLEJAZZLE

Stranger: AND FARTSAUCE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Fuck:

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You: i dont like clowns

Stranger: Good for you

Stranger: :

Stranger: :p

You: ur not a clown is disguise r u?

Stranger: nope

You: r u sure?

Stranger: yep

You: are u absitively posilutely sure?

Stranger: 100 million trillion billion percent :D

You: ok I trust u...

Stranger: :)

You: *eats a goldfish*

Stranger: yum

You: its especially yummy if u eat them alive

Stranger: I bet it is

You: Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are soft and taste good in ketchup

You: *balances a pickle on ur head*

Your conversational partner has disconnected.


All that goes directly into your mouth.