Friday, November 6, 2009

My freshly cashed ticket to hell

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: my body is a road map
Stranger: interesting
Stranger: that sounds good
You: are you a horny male looking for webcam fun?
Stranger: sorry i dont have a webcam
You: good
Stranger: :-(
You: Because I was going to punch-fuck your mouth
Stranger: o
Stranger: ok
You: because that's how I roll
Stranger: ok
You: I don't take no crap from horny 18 year old males.
You: I fucking kick their asses
Stranger: im a female
You: oh, well great success!
Stranger: yes yes
You: are you a horny 18 year old female?
Stranger: do u have a dick?
You: I do.
Stranger: well then yes to ur question
You: It's small, but it pees well.
You: want to see it?
You: TOO BAD!
Stranger: haha
Stranger: okay
You: I don't share.
Stranger: okay
You: It's violently tiny.
You: and also has a man living in it
You: His name is Archibald.
Stranger: thats amazing
Stranger: wish i could meet him
You: you can.
You: one sec...
You: I'll get him
Stranger: ok
You: ok, here he comes
Stranger: ok
You: thry, Imk ARchiblasd
Stranger: hey sexxyy
You: TH ertrtjbn tottoo mfuchds lighr t hhwe r
You: sorrrooy. Iii have nooo ffefinnngers
You: ok, I'm back
Stranger: ok
Stranger: haha
You: he's a bad speller
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ya he is
You: well, he types with his head
Stranger: mmm
Stranger: interesting
You: you slam your head on the keyboard and see what you get
Stranger: ok
You: I bet it comes out shitty
Stranger: ok
Stranger: it probably will
You: but Archibald says he wants to be deep inside you
Stranger: ok
Stranger: well tell him to have fun
You: he never does
You: his neighbor is an asshole
You: WHOA!!!!
You: zinger!!
Stranger: im jelious
You: this is my dick
You: http://i23.tinypic.com/11qr2v9.jpg
Stranger: haha thats a pic of a girl
Stranger: dumbass
You: oh.
You: That's my dick.
You: it's very high resolution
Stranger: haha a girl is your dick
You: well, it looks like a girl to the untrained eye
Stranger: o really
You: but it's just very close up
Stranger: o
Stranger: ok
Stranger: lol
You: ok here's the real pic
You: http://i23.tinypic.com/11qr2v9.jpg
Stranger: thats the same picture
Stranger: haha
You: oh
You: sorry.
You: one sec
Stranger: haha
Stranger: okay
You: http://i34.tinypic.com/2zydbhv.jpg
You: try that one
You: That's my dick.
Stranger: thats a arm with a pic on it
You: No way
Stranger: ya way
You: that's totally a dick
You: hmmm
You: let me look again
Stranger: ok
Stranger: whatever u say
You: no no
You: seriously
Stranger: ok
You: I'll show you my cock
Stranger: ok
Stranger: find the pic
You: http://i38.tinypic.com/2dt3cjb.gif
Stranger: haha
Stranger: funny funny
You: ok for real now
You: stay tuned
Stranger: thats a chicken
Stranger: okay
Stranger: sure sure
You: http://i38.tinypic.com/315ihr9.jpg
Stranger: o shit
Stranger: that is actually a dick
Stranger: but its hella short
You: I know.
You: I told you
Stranger: haha
You: did I lie?
Stranger: okay
Stranger: no
Stranger: its just so short
Stranger: im sorry
Stranger: that suxs
Stranger: how do u get a bj when its so short
You: You're assuming a woman will actually put that in her mouth
Stranger: haha
You: I've had women actually laugh
Stranger: im sorry
You: It's terrible
You: and you're laughing now
Stranger: no
Stranger: im not
Stranger: i feel bad for u
You: why are all women so mean?
Stranger: im not laughing i promise
You: actually, my thumb is longer.
You: so
You: if you feel sorry for me, does that mean you'd actually have sex with me?
Stranger: maybe
You: I've never had sex.
You: No girl will sleep with me. not that it's really possible for a woman to enjoy sex with me
You: so I understand
Stranger: im sorry
Stranger: how old r u?
You: 26
Stranger: o
Stranger: ok
You: how about you?
Stranger: 17
You: oh.
You: Nevermind.
Stranger: ya
You: are you in alabama?
Stranger: no
Stranger: sorry
You: DAMN IT!
You: hahaha
Stranger: :-(
You: Ok, when do you turn 18?
You: say tomorrow
Stranger: i just turned 17 yesterday
You: FUCK!!#!@#V! #$EFW
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: babe
You: ok. I've decided
You: I am going to go kill myself now.
Stranger: no
Stranger: dont
Stranger: please dont
You: I'll always have a tiny penis
You: what do I have to live for?
Stranger: ya but one day u will find the love of ur life and she wont care
You: get real.
You: That's just silly
Stranger: no its not
You: real love doesn't exist.
Stranger: yes it does
Stranger: i promise u
You: Even prostitutes won't sleep with me
You: I have tried.
Stranger: yes they will
You: I have a gun here on my desk.
You: I think I'm just going to eat a bullet
Stranger: no dont do it
You: I'm sorry, you tried hard, I know.
You: but you're too young and I'd rather die that go to jail.
Stranger: u wont go to jail for talking to me
You: well, maybe not
Stranger: yes
You: but I still will never be loved
Stranger: how do u know
You: because of my freakishly small DICK!
Stranger: no...
You: I know you don't want me to, but I just cocked the hammer
Stranger: dont
You: Good bye, my love...
Stranger: dont u asshole
Stranger: what ever bye
You: HI
You: JUST KIDDING!!!
You: I'm alive!!!
You: the gun ricocheted off my face
You: but I'm bleeding pretty badly!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I girl. I pics.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 18 m horny looking for girl to trade pics or cam with
You: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
You: oh.
You: I girl.
You: I pics.
Stranger: send me one
You: Give me address
Stranger: drennan_m@hotmail.com
You: What's that?
Stranger: my email
You: oh... email?
You: I don't have email.
You: What's your home address?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sup?

This one comes from a Liz type person; a regular SUBMITTER!

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BOO!
Stranger: Sup??
You: sup means to eat supper
You: did you know that?
Stranger: nope it dont
Stranger: it means wutz up
You: yeesssss it does
Stranger: nope
You: yep
Stranger: NOPW
You: youre just being stubborn
Stranger: NOPE**
Stranger: NOPE
You: and you misspelled you yellings caps, haha
You: sorry
You: but yeah.......
You: it means the act of eating supper
Stranger: IM NOT YELLING I JUST LIKE CAPS.....LOLZ
Stranger: NOPE
Stranger: NOT IN MY WORLD
You: haha
You: ok
You: not in your world
You: sup
1  /sʌp/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [suhp] Show IPA ,verb, supped, sup⋅ping.
Use sup in a Sentence
See web results for sup
See images of sup
–verb (used without object)
1. to eat the evening meal; have supper.
–verb (used with object)
2. to provide with or entertain at supper.\
You: dictionary.com
Stranger: IN MY FRIENDS WORLD EVERYONES A PONY THEY EAT BUTTERFLYS AND POOP RAINBOWS
You: icky
Stranger: BUT IN MY WORLD EVERYONE IS A DONKEY THEY EAT SHOWER CURTAINS AND POOP SALSA!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: hmmm
You: i dont like you very much....youre scary
Stranger: OHHHHHHH SORRY......LOLZ
You: i gtg.....bye......sup tonight, okay?
You: with food
You: bye
You have disconnected.